I just got an email inviting me to a "Write a Will" workshop

So, I just got an email inviting me to a "Write a Will" workshop (from the Loft, a movie theater of all places). Here's what it said:

Writing a will doesn't have to be mysterious. Now you can learn how to prepare a will at one of these three free workshops.

TUESDAY, MARCH 9th from 2:00 pm - 4:00 pm TUCSON MUSEUM OF ART RSVP 616-2694 or lschellie@tucsonmuseumofart.org WEDNESDAY, MARCH 10th from 11:30 am - 1:30 pm TUCSON SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA RSVP 792-9155 or kbyers@tucsonsymphony.org TUESDAY, MARCH 23rd from 9:30 am - 11:30 am THE LOFT CINEMA RSVP 322-5638 or amy@loftaz.com Don't leave things to chance - Write a Will. You can do more for your family and your community. Attend one of these free workshops to learn what you need to consider when preparing a will. FOOD AND BEVERAGE PROVIDED. Hosted by Arizona Theatre Company, The Loft Cinema, Tucson Museum of Art, Tucson Symphony Orchestra and UA Presents.

So, apparently, the Loft thinks I'm about to croak. Thanks, Loft. I never knew there were workshops for writing your will. I mean I guess I don't know how I would go about writing my will, so maybe I should attend. It just seems a weird thing to teach people. And sponser, by a bunch of arts programs no less. Hm.

My favorite part is "FOOD AND BEVERAGE PROVIDED." OH! Food and beverages will be provided? In that case, I'm definitely going. Why would they serve food and drinks? It all just seems so odd. I wonder what the average age of the people there would be. . . maybe I should go.

'The Thirty Six Sounds of a Writer'

This is my thirty six sounds poem for English.

The Thirty-Six Sounds of a Writer

by Marc Hansen

1. Flipping the stained, paper pages of your favorite book for inspiration

2. The squeak as you lean back in your chair, feeling confident and ready to write

3. The air conditioner cycling as you blankly stare at your typewriter for the first thirty minutes

4. Endless thoughts of doubt and insecurity running through your mind

5. Sweat dripping down your burning forehead

6. Thoughts of your worst critics beating your corpse to a pulp

7. Thoughts of you beating your corpse to a pulp

8. Explicit language

9. The sudden click of the typewriter as you type that explicit language

10. Your stomach’s growls, as you feel a fleeting moment of accomplishment, and a need for a 9:10 a.m. snack break

11. The smack of your lips, as you tear through your third croissant that morning

12. The muscles in your thumb having a spasm, while you flip through each channel on the television

13. The blood gushing out of your skin as you rip open the hangnail you’ve been picking at for weeks

14. The phone taunting you with its rings, though you know it can only be your mother

15. Your mother’s manic barks about how you should get a job and a girlfriend

16. Imagining yourself repeatedly slamming the phone on her, as you listen obediently

17. Feeling your chin hairs poke through your skin, as you wonder when the last time you shaved was

18. Your apartment owner’s fists pounding their way through the front door, demanding the rent for your shithole East Side apartment

19. The screaming guitar in the Velvet Underground’s “Heroin,” as you do some

20. Letting the light shine through the creaky windows, as you decide to get back to work

21. Hearing the blue jays sing from Central Park, as the subway growls from underneath

22. The summer sun ruining your “Life is Good” t-shirt with your armpit’s sweat

23. The light bulb above your head flickering on and blowing out the building’s electricity

24. A revelation

25. The ink pounding your words onto a clean, white sheet of paper

26. Typing the Great American Novel for the next 3 years

27. Upgrading to a slick, stylish, new computer

28. Getting a publishing deal, and 20% of the profits!

29. Impressing Oprah with your beautiful balance of satire and seriousness

30. Thirty million people flipping through the clean, white pages of your hardcover

31. Bathing yourself with 100 dollar bills in your new, golden bathtub

32. Waking up on the couch, wearing your worn out superhero pajama pants with the hole in the back

33. Discovering that your roommate taped the entirety of your mid-afternoon nap (apparently you talk in your sleep)

34. Devouring your fourth croissant that morning

35. Peeling through a banana, as you stare at the typewriter

36. Typing, just typing, and finally getting the hang of it

'More than Just Fluff' Essay

As I said earlier, I decided I wanted to start posting on here more, so one of the things I'll be doing is posting stuff I've written (for school or otherwise). It might have been from last year, but if I like it, I'll post it. I'm starting with the most recent essay we had to write for Ms. Guido's English class. Here's mine:

“More Than Just Fluff”

by Marc Hansen

I was in the car today, driving with my mom, and for reasons unbeknownst to me (though I have my theories), I was in a rather troubled mood. My mom, on the other hand, was in a more chipper mood than usual, and was being particularly nosy. She kept asking me questions, trying to find out how my day went, only being extremely nice and interested, but I was unresponsive. I hate to let my mom down, so I didn’t want to explain myself or tell her I wasn’t in the mood for talking, because that would invite more questions. So, instead I just mumbled and put in Kid A by Radiohead. In case you don’t know (and if that’s the case, change it), Kid A is a gloomy little melodic record, which expressed how I happened to be feeling and without having to say anything, my mom quickly picked up that I was in that mood. Music has a great way of representing ourselves. As it says in High Fidelity, by Nick Hornby, it’s not what you’re like that matters, but what you like. And I think that what you like affects what you’re like.

While forms of media have been credited for having a great social impact on society, George Orwell’s 1984 for example, these forms of media have often been reduced to the simple status of “mindless entertainment” by the masses. However, I do believe that these forms of entertainment (literature, films, music, television, and art) while certainly entertaining, indeed, do have a great impact on our lives. I’m not just saying this as someone who considers himself a part of these fields; a serious artist who not only takes himself seriously, but his work even more seriously. While I do fret over every word, sentence, comma, suffix, and punctuation mark, trying to make the prose and flow just perfect, as I imagine many other “artists” do (though I can only speak for myself), this isn’t some pretentious plan to try and make the world appreciate the work I make or admire. This essay is simply a reinforcement of something I’ve observed about myself, and many others, which has formed the basis of this belief: that these forms of “art” (as I’ll call it, though that could really be anything) are very powerful in not only shaping who we are as human beings, but, in effect, saying more about who we are as individuals, then what that work might say about the person who made it. I think our choices in music, films, and books represent who we truly are.

Like I said, media is very powerful, and not just in the sense that it can change things in the world. Of course, there are acclaimed, sophisticated allegories with social messages, such as Orwell’s Animal Farm, and even lots of satire is applauded for using humor to express a message about current issues, but I’m not just talking about the media that’s deemed important. I’m not even talking about the megahits that are simply a part of pop culture and representative of the era, like Gone with the Wind or Pulp Fiction. While these are all ways that media can make an effective difference in society, I’m talking about the forms of media that are personal to you, or me. I’m talking about the pieces of work that individually touch you or make a difference in your life, because there must be some reason it did, which is what makes these mediums so wonderful. The fact that art is subjective allows for everyone to like different things, and says a lot about who we are as individuals.

Media has the power to challenge our beliefs and make us think in different ways. Writers can make us question what we think we know and truly let our minds explore the abstract perimeters of the box we’ve been dying to break. For me, screenwriter Charlie Kaufman’s films (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Being John Malkovich) blew my mind. I had never seen anything like it, but once I had experienced them, I completely forgot what life was like before watching them. Those films moved me, but many people, like my sister, thought they were simply “weird.” My fondness of Charlie Kaufman shows that I’m more of an existentialist, while my sister, who likes love stories, is a hopeless romantic. Our tastes say more about us, than it does their creators.

Like Charlie Kaufman, films, music, and literature have the power to say something that people like me can’t put into words. They get at something true (at least what I feel is true) that I’ve always felt, but never knew how to express. Art is able to do that. They look at things in a different way. Have you ever listened to a lyric or read a passage and literally said out loud “Oh my god, they’re so right!” And yet, you had never thought of that before, and for all you know, you may have never shared that belief without them exposing it. So, media truly does shape our beliefs and who we are, though we often don’t realize it. Many of the other ‘This I Believe’ essays will take a common quote that they believe in, like let’s say ‘No Pain, No Gain,’ but someone had to think of that quote and write it down, and if it didn’t exist, you wouldn’t have been able to believe it. I’m not saying that we, as human beings, aren’t capable to form our own thoughts and decide things for ourselves, but we often don’t put into consideration how big of an impact these artists have had on the way we think. Even if they don’t directly tell us how to live, they challenge society and let us know that we have the power to come up with our independent thoughts and values.

As I stated earlier, media also lets us have the power to express ourselves in ways we otherwise couldn’t. When I’m sad, I’ll listen to a dark, depressing song, or a really loud, thrashing song when I’m feeling attacked. Other times it’s useful to listen to a soothing song to diffuse my anger. I can do this instead of giving into the male urge to punch something. And you don’t have to limit yourself by only expressing yourself through others’ art, you can make your own. Henry Miller said that the best way to get over a girl was to turn her into literature, a great quote that I feel shows the power of media to express our emotions. And if Henry Miller had never put that down into words, I’d never have had the chance to believe it. So, still think it’s just mindless entertainment?

The Beat of the Bee

[title of show] EXTENDED Review

Ahhh, lucky you, followers (that's what I'm calling ya'll from now on): The first review of [title of show] that I posted was the edited version that THE MAN made me cut down to 450 words. That's why it was so short. But I'm posting the original, uncut version now too! Although, I just posted that review a few seconds ago, so chances are by the time you're reading this, you didn't even know I had posted the first review (but I didn't want to have to make you wait, and more importantly, I didn't really feel like waiting, even though waiting a week would've built up more anticipation). So, if you haven't read the original first, read it first, cuz this one doesn't really add much. Here we go:

Review of ATC’s Production of “[title of show]”

by Marc Hansen

By far the best show of the season so far, ATC’s production of “[title of show]” is a wickedly ingenious musical comedy about the evolution of writers and artists; what it’s like to be them and how a piece progresses from the mind to stage to Broadway. It’s got everything a person could ever ask for and should rank up there with the best of theatre’s comedy classics.

Written by Hunter Bell and Jeff Bowen, “[title of show]” is about Hunter and Jeff, two gay playwrights living in New York and trying to write a musical about trying to write a musical about trying to write a musical.... And that’s it. If you read that and thought the play sounded like the brainchild of incredibly witty, self-referential playwright geniuses, than “[title of show]” is the play for you.

I cannot say enough good things about this production. The writing is not only amazingly clever, but laugh-out-loud hilarious (and deliciously crude). The jokes are at their best when they’re breaking the fourth wall or talking about how they’re actually performing the play on stage (“What if this play won a Tony?”; “If you guys finished the script, should we still be talking?” - lights go black). However, if the play had been all self-referential jokes it would’ve quickly gotten old, which is why it’s the other jokes and the hilarious way these quirky characters interact with each other that makes “[title of show]” work. It’s also the way the cast brilliantly plays these characters, with perfect comedic timing. Kelly McCormick and Lauren Lebowitz, as the actresses who agree to star in the show, play particularly well off each other (the song “Secondary Characters,” for example), but credit also has to be given to the guys: Stanley Bahorek, as Hunter, delivers some of the best llines perfectly and Sal Sabella, as Jeff, has a hilarious bit on grammer. I also appreciated the subtleties in the wardrobes (each character wears their own distinct color, representing their different personalities).

There are a lot of references to other musicals, so if you’re a musical theatre junkie it’s a lot of fun to catch them, and as a writer, the show’s easy to relate to. It’s like having your thoughts played out on stage, especially the hilarious song “An Original Musical” where a blank piece of paper (who just happens to be black) starts talking to Jeff. Speaking of songs, they’re all incredibly catchy and witty (“Nine People’s Favorite Thing”; “What Kind of Girl is She?”).

Though the gags (such as the Dream Sequence) are indeed likely to make you fall out of your chair laughing, “[title of show]” does end up getting at something deeper - the struggle that artists, in general, go through trying to stay true to themselves and get their work out there. By the end of the show, you see that “[title of show]” is not just about the writing process, but how Hunter and Jeff’s musical progresses and changes, and the compromises they may not be willing to take. It’s well worth the ride and I’d highly recommend it. In fact, I’d say that not only is “[title of show]” the best show of the season, but all in all, a nearly perfect one.

Grade: A+

[title of show] Review

Alright, guys, speaking normally, this show was amazing. It was so good. Now, here's me speaking review (a.k.a. expanding on my thoughts - analyzing - the whole SHA-BAM, like on my Batman t-shirt):

Review of ATC’s Production of “[title of show]”

by Marc Hansen

By far the best show of the season so far, ATC’s production of “[title of show]” is a wickedly ingenious musical comedy about the evolution of writers and artists; what it’s like to be them and how a piece progresses from the mind to stage to Broadway. Written by Hunter Bell and Jeff Bowen, “[title of show]” is about Hunter and Jeff, two gay playwrights living in New York and trying to write a musical about trying to write a musical about trying to write a musical.... It’s got everything a person could ever ask for and should rank up there with the best of theatre’s comedy classics.

I cannot say enough good things about this production. The writing is not only amazingly clever, but laugh-out-loud hilarious (and deliciously crude). The jokes are at their best when they’re breaking the fourth wall or talking about how they’re actually performing the play on stage (“What if this play won a Tony?”). However, if the play had been all self-referential jokes it would’ve quickly gotten old, which is why it’s the other jokes and the hilarious way these quirky characters interact with each other that makes “[title of show]” work. The brilliant cast also plays these characters, with perfect comedic timing. Kelly McCormick and Lauren Lebowitz, as the actresses who agree to star in the show, play particularly well off each other (the song “Secondary Characters,” for example), but credit also has to be given to the guys: Stanley Bahorek, as Hunter, delivers some of the best lines perfectly and Sal Sabella, as Jeff, has a hilarious bit on grammar.

There are a lot of references to other musicals, so if you’re a musical theatre junkie it’s a lot of fun to catch them, and as a writer, the show’s easy to relate to. It’s like having your thoughts played out on stage, especially the hilarious song “An Original Musical” where a blank piece of paper starts talking to Jeff. Speaking of songs, they’re all incredibly catchy and witty (“Nine People’s Favorite Thing”).

Though the gags (such as the Dream Sequence) are indeed likely to make you fall out of your chair laughing, “[title of show]” does end up getting at something deeper - the struggle that artists, in general, go through trying to stay true to themselves and get their work out there. By the end of the show, you see that “[title of show]” is not just about the writing process, but how Hunter and Jeff’s musical progresses and changes, and the compromises they may not be willing to take. Not only is “[title of show]” the best show of the season, but all in all, a nearly perfect one.

Grade: A+

Alright, followers, I'm out. Adios. Hasta Luega. Hasta la vista, baby. Chao. Au revoir. Just, see ya.

A Tribute to a Legend - J.D. Salinger

I remember finishing The Catcher in the Rye for the first time and afterwards going to J.D. Salinger's wikipedia page to learn more about him. I like to use wikipedia to read up on authors, bands, etc. so after I had loved The Catcher in the Rye so much, it was only natural that it sparked my interest in this extraordinary author. The first thing I remember when his page uploaded was seeing that extremely famous photo of him in the top right hand corner, the one that I keep seeing on all over the internet today. Perhaps the only photographic portrait of him, this is the photo that would come to represent him to me. That sharply dressed young man with his hair slicked back looking off into the distance. He had a nice face and the photo screamed '1950s' to me. There was always something about it that seemed to jump out at me. I can't put my nose on it, but something always stood out about it, from the first time I saw it. I guess, it did seem peculiar to me that this was the photo chosen for his profile, as most other profile pages on wikipedia had a more recent picture, but as I would soon learn, Salinger was rather famous for his seclusion, and that just might be the most recent picture of him. It may even be one of the only ones the public has of him. The next thing I so clearly remember is that under that representative photo were the facts:

Born Jerome David Salinger

January 1, 1919 (aged 88)

New York City, New York

United States

And I remember seeing that and thinking "He's still alive!" After all, I knew that The Catcher in the Rye had been written in the '50s, which seemed like a long time ago to me, and most of the authors of the books I read (mostly 20th century literature) were dead. So, the fact that he was still alive surprised me, especially considering how old I thought he was. I was amazed. I even talked to people about how old he was. I also thought it was pretty cool that his birthday was on New Years.

As I later learned, he was perhaps just as famous for how reclusive he was as he was for writing The Catcher in the Rye (the best book I had read at the time, and presently tied for my favorite of all time with The Great Gatsby). I later wondered if he died a while ago and no one knew yet. After all, he pretty much stopped being in the public's eye after Catcher, with the exception of the occasional lawsuit (God, love him), the last one having been a while ago. I happily assumed that I would never know and would probably find out, one day, 20 years from now, that he had obviously died a long time ago. Over the last 2 and a half years, I would occasionally check his page, again, when I was feeling bored. I remember coming on at the start of the new school year (this year, fall '09) and seeing that in May 2009, he was, in the process, of suing some Swedish writer for trying to write a sequel to Catcher. How pleased was I! He was still alive, after all. It made me pretty happy, to see he was still going at it, suing any of the idiots in his way trying to ruin Catcher for me.

And I guess that's why when I got on the computer today and brought up Safari, I was so shocked when I saw that famous photo of him I had first seen years earlier and a headline that said 'J.D. Salinger Dead at 91.' My mouth dropped open, my body froze and I literally said out loud, "What?!" I started to feel very hot, suddenly, and had trouble seeing things. It shocked most, considering we hadn't heard anything in so long and it's not like we knew he was ill, but for me it was even more shocking, considering the little wikipedia anecdote I had lived through. I had come to believe he would be immortal, and he was just making news a couple of months ago. But now he died. I couldn't believe it.

I had finished the marvelous book About a Boy by Nick Hornby, a couple days ago, and a large part of the book takes place the day Kurt Cobain dies. It kind of goes through how the world reacted and in particular, one teenager, who he had affected so much that she wanted to get drunk because she was so upset. I remember reading that, just a couple days before today, and thinking how I don't think the death of a pop star could affect me in the same way, for the rest of my life. After all, Elliott Smith had already died, and though I'm closely connected to my music, I felt like the most a sudden celebrity death could make me feel was a minor sadness. Sure, I would be sad that they died, but I wasn't willing to get drunk over it, or let it take over the next couple months, as a lot of famous pop star deaths have (John Lennon, Elvis Presley, Michael Jackson). Now, obviously, J.D. Salinger wasn't a pop star, but finding out that he's died now, seems like a bad joke. I knew that I would live to see his death one day, but I didn't think it would happen like this, and not today. Somehow, it has really affected me, to the point where I feel like I do just wanna stop everything and mourn his death.

Don't worry, I didn't drink anything (except an A&W), but I did take the rest of the night to sit in the hot tub and read my old, beaten down copy of Catcher. I know now that I will keep this forever. Reading it makes me miss Holden, and Salinger, and I can't believe that our world has lost the man who put these words to paper. This great talent, the greatest talent. This man has had such an affect on my life, more than most of the 'phonies' I meet in person, that I can't believe his time has passed. He is be the greatest artist that will die in my lifetime. He really understood the world, terrible as it is, but I can't help but feel like he's the only one who got it. I got pretty upset today with our Pep Rally at school, which made me realize how much I hate these people. It was the typical high school, cliquey bullshit and I was thinking, 'Were still doing this? I thought this was over in middle school and people would start to grow up now. This is just so the 'cool kids' and the jocks can feel better about themselves.' I thought the seniors and the juniors were supposed to be more sophisticated, but watching them today made me realize that the majority of them are the same amount of douches that most of the kids in my grade are. I don't know what brought it on, but it all came to me, and for some reason, it seems connected to Salinger's passing. That's how confused, isolated Holden saw the world, which I can relate to so much.

The Catcher in the Rye will stand down as one of the greatest books ever written, certainly the only one that so perfectly captures how we, humans, think, but it's also one of the most beautiful and I'm gravely sorry that J.D. Salinger is no longer with us. I'm sad that he hated the publicity so much to shield his work from us, but I understand why he felt that way. How could he not? And he had every right to keep it to himself and I respect that. It's a rotten world and I can't blame him for not letting us in on his masterpieces. There's talk about releasing all the unpublished material he wrote during his seclusion, which I'm against if those were not his wishes, however I'm sure I'd love them. He apparently broke his hip in May of last year, but had been doing fairly well, until a recent decline in health starting after the New Year. I'm sad that he's passed, but apparently his death was not painful and of natural causes, and he had been healthy all these years. I'm glad that if he had to go, that was the way, because that really is the best of ways, and he deserves it. After rereading Catcher tonight, I decided that the next best way to honor him, would to be to write about him on this blog, because that's what he would've done. Write. And Salinger, my promise to you, is that is what I will continue to do. Thank you, for everything.

Love,

Marc Hansen

R.I.P.