The Thirty-Six Sounds of a Writer
by Marc Hansen
1. Flipping the stained, paper pages of your favorite book for inspiration
2. The squeak as you lean back in your chair, feeling confident and ready to write
3. The air conditioner cycling as you blankly stare at your typewriter for the first thirty minutes
4. Endless thoughts of doubt and insecurity running through your mind
5. Sweat dripping down your burning forehead
6. Thoughts of your worst critics beating your corpse to a pulp
7. Thoughts of you beating your corpse to a pulp
8. Explicit language
9. The sudden click of the typewriter as you type that explicit language
10. Your stomach’s growls, as you feel a fleeting moment of accomplishment, and a need for a 9:10 a.m. snack break
11. The smack of your lips, as you tear through your third croissant that morning
12. The muscles in your thumb having a spasm, while you flip through each channel on the television
13. The blood gushing out of your skin as you rip open the hangnail you’ve been picking at for weeks
14. The phone taunting you with its rings, though you know it can only be your mother
15. Your mother’s manic barks about how you should get a job and a girlfriend
16. Imagining yourself repeatedly slamming the phone on her, as you listen obediently
17. Feeling your chin hairs poke through your skin, as you wonder when the last time you shaved was
18. Your apartment owner’s fists pounding their way through the front door, demanding the rent for your shithole East Side apartment
19. The screaming guitar in the Velvet Underground’s “Heroin,” as you do some
20. Letting the light shine through the creaky windows, as you decide to get back to work
21. Hearing the blue jays sing from Central Park, as the subway growls from underneath
22. The summer sun ruining your “Life is Good” t-shirt with your armpit’s sweat
23. The light bulb above your head flickering on and blowing out the building’s electricity
24. A revelation
25. The ink pounding your words onto a clean, white sheet of paper
26. Typing the Great American Novel for the next 3 years
27. Upgrading to a slick, stylish, new computer
28. Getting a publishing deal, and 20% of the profits!
29. Impressing Oprah with your beautiful balance of satire and seriousness
30. Thirty million people flipping through the clean, white pages of your hardcover
31. Bathing yourself with 100 dollar bills in your new, golden bathtub
32. Waking up on the couch, wearing your worn out superhero pajama pants with the hole in the back
33. Discovering that your roommate taped the entirety of your mid-afternoon nap (apparently you talk in your sleep)
34. Devouring your fourth croissant that morning
35. Peeling through a banana, as you stare at the typewriter
36. Typing, just typing, and finally getting the hang of it
Monday, March 1, 2010
'The Thirty Six Sounds of a Writer'
This is my thirty six sounds poem for English.
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So Marc. I'm commenting. And shunning Mr. Bindschadler for not doing so himself. Well, not really. But mentally, I am throwing tasteless and un-toasted white bread slices at the back of his head.
ReplyDeleteYour poem is pretty accurate. Except for the whole heroin thing. But OTHERWISE. I guess it would be more accurate for someone who was actually a writer.
This is a horrible comment. I'm going to stop embarrassing myself. Nehh, I'm going to go read your other blogs. BYE :)